I think there was part of me that thought I was going to be better at handling it because it was like, “This is actually the shape that my life has taken in the last year, anyway, so I have developed tools for creating structure in my days and finding ways to carve out pockets of meaning in the great swaths of time.”
I think that actually made it even harder because I thought I was going to be better at it than I actually was. It’s been really hard. I’ve been trying to figure out why exactly that is.